


The Straightest Show on Earth

by the-nug-king (eloralouistra)



Category: Love Island (TV), Love Island mobile game, Love Island the Game
Genre: F/F, IT'S GAY, and I'm so invested in my useless lesbian and her actual canon female love interest, but listen, hi i actually wrote fic for love island so i hate myself, love island game, more like love island GAYme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 03:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15258933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloralouistra/pseuds/the-nug-king
Summary: “So… are you actually into any of the guys in here? Like at all?”Krystal gives her usual non-committal “so which boy do you fancy?” shrug, a shrug she feels she’s perfected over the however many years it is that people have been asking her that question. “Not really.”





	The Straightest Show on Earth

**Author's Note:**

> I downloaded the Love Island game as a joke, to play as a lesbian and see how little interest I could show to all the guys there. And then to my utter astonishment, there actually turned out to be a bisexual female love interest, and I feel completely in love with the relationship.
> 
> Warnings for discussion of homophobia and compulsive heterosexuality.

They’re stretched out by the pool when Talia asks what Krystal knows she’s been wondering for days now. The villa is almost quiet for once, shouts and laughter echoing in the distance but the lawn and terrace clear of their fellow islanders. So they’re catching a moment together in Talia’s favourite spot, because Talia likes sunbathing, and Krystal likes being around Talia.

“So… are you actually into _any_ of the guys in here? Like at all?”

Krystal gives her usual non-committal “so which boy do you fancy?” shrug, a shrug she feels she’s perfected over the however many years it is that people have been asking her that question. “Not really.”

“Great, I won’t have competition then!” Talia laughs, nudging Krystal’s leg with hers, making her smile too, before growing more serious again. “And… what about boys outside the Villa?"

Krystal hesitates. She _wants_ to tell Talia, of course, she does, she wants to tell her that, and why she’s even on Love Island. But there are cameras everywhere and her microphone fastened to her and she can’t tell _everyone_. So instead she glances away from Talia and says, “I’ve had a couple of boyfriends before.”

“That’s not exactly what I asked, babes,” says Talia, but she squeezes Krystal’s hand and pulls her closer when Krystal remains silent at that. “Sorry, Krystal. You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want.”

Krystal smiles gratefully, giving her a quick kiss. “I mean, you know, no one outside the Villa is _you_ , how could I be interested in any of them right now?” she says and Talia laughs again at that, kissing her back. Someday, Krystal thinks, settling down into Talia’s arms. Someday she’s going to need to tell her why she’s in here.

***

It’s weird being outside the Villa with Talia, the two of them shopping for the post-recoupling party that night. It all feels very… domestic. Not that it’s entirely like being back in the real world, Krystal thinks, glancing at the cameraman following behind them. She’s aching for just a moment entirely alone with Talia, and not having to watch her mouth with what she says to her, but intensely personal confessions aren’t really the sort of thing you’re allowed to keep private on reality TV. She doesn’t know how straight people stand it.

“Uh, do you think they have a loo around here? I could really use it, before we go back to the Villa,” she says suddenly, just before she and Talia are about to head back. They find a cafe with a bathroom nearby, and Krystal asks Talia to come with her, because that’s what girls do when they go to the bathroom, right, and hey they’d better not talk about anything important since the cameraman can’t follow them in here. Krystal checks the stalls are empty and switches her microphone off.

Talia raises an eyebrow but switches her own off too. “So,” she says, when they’re really alone, “Is this when you tell me how you’re only here for the prize money and you’ve got a cunning plan to undermine the other Islanders?”

Krystal laughs, running a hand through her hair nervously. “Not quite. It’s uh… well. I know you’ve been like, wondering what I’m doing here, when Love Island is like, the straightest show on earth, and I’m kind of like, a massive lesbian.”

“I mean, I’m not sure it’s the straightest show on earth any more babes,” Talia grins. “But yeah, I kind of wondered.”

“Yeah.” Krystal takes a deep breath. “So, my family are straight. Like, really straight. I mean, my name’s Krystal, for god’s sake. With a K! Like, every girls’ name that starts with a K is a straight name. Kayleigh, Karen, Kendall, Kendra...”

“I dunno, what about Kate? Kate’s not a straight name.”

“I mean, I guess, but the rest of them. Karrie, Kylie, Kelsey...”

“Okay, you win!” Talia holds her hands up. “So, your super heterosexual family?”

“Yeah. So, they’ve always wanted me to get a boyfriend, and when I talk about girls…” Krystal sighs. “It’s not like they’re cruel about it or anything, it just doesn’t go in. Like, god, I could be walking round in a shirt that reads “I’m a lesbian” and they still wouldn’t notice. I mean, I kissed my ex in front of them, and my mum just laughed and said it was good practice for when I got a boyfriend! And I tried to talk to them about it so many times, and they just didn’t listen.” She slumps against the wall, closing her eyes. There’s too many memories now, stuff she doesn’t want to think about when she’s with Talia, stuff she thought she’d buried down.

“Just gals being pals, huh?” says Talia softly, a hint of bitterness in her voice. “Yeah. I’ve been there before a few times.” She pulls Krystal into her arms, holding her close and for a moment it’s just good to be against her, her hands gently stroking Krystal’s back and hair, and breath soft on her neck.

“About a year ago, I just gave up,” Krystal tells her after a moment. “They were never going to listen so I stopped talking about girls. I stopped bringing girls round, told them I was just going to hang with friends when I went on a date, stuff like that. It was easier, you know? Now they’re only not hearing because I’m not talking about it.”

Talia nods, continuing to stroke Krystal’s hair gently. “I’m so sorry, hun. That sounds like shit.”

“Thanks,” Krystal sighs. “So, my parents seemed happier after that, but they still kept bugging me about getting a boyfriend, because of _course_ they did, and there’s only so long you can keep up an imaginary one before they start insisting they meet him. But like, my sister Jess is _obsessed_ with Love Island, and she wouldn’t shut up about it last summer, so I’ve been like, super exposed to it. And I just thought like, hey Love Island’s really straight...”

“Straightest show on earth,” Talia nods.

“Just applying got them off my back for a bit. And then I actually got in, and Jess was like, _so_ jealous, because she wanted to apply but she’s not 18 yet, but my parents were like, so fucking happy about it. I figured I didn’t even have to pretend to be into any of the boys, because my family are good enough at, like, deciding I fancy a guy if I glance in his direction by themselves. So I’d just mess around in Majorca for a bit and then get dumped after like a week because I hadn’t made any meaningful connections, and then they’d spend some time feeling sorry for me for being unlucky in love or whatever, before they got back to bugging me about a boyfriend. So yeah,” Krystal shrugs. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Wow,” says Talia. “That’s a lot, hun. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. But like, on a personal level? I’m really happy you _are_ here.”

Krystal kisses her. “Me too,” she says, when they break apart. “I really, _really_ wasn’t expecting this. Like, I knew I was going to find some of the girls hot, but I didn’t ever imagine any would feel the same way.” She grins. “So why are you here? I mean, I know you’re into boys too, but still, straightest show on earth.”

“Maybe I was planning to change that?” Talia winks. “Nah, I mean, I was expecting the other girls to all be straight too, like, even when the boys first came in and you ignored all of them I was like, “She’s probably just playing hard to get.” It wasn’t ‘til you stood up in Never Have I Ever that I realised you might actually be into me. But you know, there’s worse things than being surrounded by a bunch of gorgeous people in a Majorcan villa for a summer!” She hesitates. “And I guess… I told you about me ex right? How we broke up because I couldn’t make enough time for her? I guess I was hoping I could sort of get out of that habit, living in the same villa as someone I was seeing and all.”

“I think you’re doing okay at that, babe,” Krystal tells her with a smile. “Oh my god, I’m glad we like, realised we both weren’t straight though. At the start I thought that I was reading too much into it, or that you were just joking around, or whatever. I was so nervous!”

“We’re _useless,_ ” Talia grins. “Like, remember the second coupling up, when we were both too scared to couple up and put each other on the spot like that?”

“Ugh, I am _so_ looking forward to fixing that tonight.”

“God, same! Like, to get serious again though, what do you think your family are going to think of all this? They sound like they’d assume we coupled up as friends, I guess, but we have also kind of had sex on TV. Twice.”

“I dunno, I’m sure they’d find _some_ way to make that sound heterosexual,” Krystal sighs. “Straight people can be _really_ fucking oblivious.”

“I know it, babes. I feel like most of the others have only just realised we’re into each other.”

“And maybe someday Levi will get it too.” Krystal mutters bitterly.

Talia pauses. “Seriously Krystal,” she says quietly, “If you want me to punch him in the balls, just say the word.”

Krystal smiles weakly. “Thanks. But it’s fine, really.” She doesn’t want to talk about Levi right now, with his “hey, I’ve decided that I have a spark with you so I’m going to couple up with you no matter how often you straight up tell me you’re not interested and only slightly less straight-uply imply that you hate my guts” attitude. Her family are definitely enough heavy talk for today.

“Oh my god though, she says instead. “You know our date on the terrace the other night?”

“Kind of rings a bell, yeah,” Talia smirks.

“Well, I bumped into Allegra, just after getting changed for it. And she asked me, in all her oblivious straightness, if I was all dressed up like that for _Jake_!”

Talia practically screams with laughter. “She fucking _didn’t_ ! Oh my _god_ , Allegra!”

They laugh together for a moment or so before Talia sighs and says, “So, I guess we should be getting back soon. We’ve been here a while,” She smiles. “But like, thanks for telling me all that, babe.”

"Thanks for listening. Just… yeah, I know I haven’t exactly been acting like I like boys, but I didn’t want to say I was a lesbian right out on TV, with my family and everyone watching. But I thought you should know what was going on and like, I know you want to take emotions stuff slow so I didn’t want you to feel like I was pressuring you, with you being the only person in here I have any interest in? I mean, unless Cherry turns out to be bi I guess, but she’s still got nothing on you. But yeah, if you decide you want someone else then I guess I’m going home, but like, I can deal with that, I came in here expecting that would have happened already by now.”

Talia pulls her in for a kiss. “Don’t stress about it. I mean yeah, I don’t want you, like, declaring your undying love and proposing to me tonight but right now? I’m _so_ happy with how things are going with you, and I don’t see anyone else for me in here.” She brushes a strand of hair out of Krystal’s face, smiling fondly, and Krystal can’t help the grin that covers her own face or the way her heart’s beating. “Seriously though, we’ve been in here like, forever. They’re either going to think we have food poisoning or we’ve having a quickie.”

A part of Krystal wants to stay where she can talk to Talia privately forever, but after all that, it feels like a weight’s been lifted off her, and getting back to the Villa means getting to prepare for the recoupling later where they can finally, _finally_ couple up together, so she brushes herself down and grins at Talia. “But like, we’re both _girls,_ Talia. Girls don’t have quickies with each other! That wouldn’t be very heterosexual!

Talia laughs, shoving her gently. “And we can’t have that on Love Island! It’ll lose its place as the straightest show on earth!”

They share one more kiss before they turn their microphones back on and head back to the villa, hand in hand. Like, platonically, probably.


End file.
